I was having lunch with two HSP friends the other day. All three of us have spent many years working with people to bring healing. One proposed a question, "When a highly sensitive person asks you how to protect themselves, what do you tell them?"
One replied, "the only real way to protect yourself is to do the deep personal work of unraveling you own inner process. When you know your own depth, the positive and the negative, then you find protection within your own core."
I agreed, "yes, people are always looking for an outside shield, but if you know your own issues, then other people's issues can't stay attached to you, or not for long. Energy from outside only attaches because we have something inside that is similar, energetically attracting it. Once your inner work is done, the issue is cleared of charge. Therefore the issue resolves and the outside energy easily releases."
When HSP's come to me they often are confused with what energy belongs to them and what belongs to others. We work to sort that out. For example, a story is told, "my friend was having a bad day and we talked on the phone and since then my solar plexus has really been hurting. It feels like something sharp is stabbing into me right here (pointing to a specific spot)."
"Yes, I can feel your friends energy, now let it go. (The energy begins to release)...but this point HERE (now I am pointing to a specific spot in their body) is YOUR issue. Your issue is where the energy will not release and why the other person's bad day has stayed with you. Let's take the time to sort it out " So we sort that issue out... and then, only then, does the energy completely resolve, release and and clear.
Back to my friends at lunch, the woman asking the question agrees with us. "It's not a popular answer and everyone is looking for a quick fix, but I agree that deep inner work is the only real protection."
Wow, years later now, I just discovered a youtube video by Ralph Smart where he very articulately spells out a description of the inner work involved to protect yourself from other people's energy:
Summary of Ralph's main points (but take time to listen to the full 24 minutes because that is much better than this summary!):
- Remember you can't please everyone. Accept that not everyone is going to like you. Once you get past that, then you can stop absorbing other people's energy. Be yourself, then you are loving and accepting yourself.
- Invitation—chose whether or not you want to be invited to where this person is going to take you. Nobody can enter your inner kingdom without an invitation.
- Pay attention because everything in the universe is a business exchange. When you pay attention, you are in essence giving someone your energy. Love yourself and value your energy. Give only when the exchange is good for all involved.
- Breathe—go into nature, purify your senses, feel alive, feel free. Meditate, dance, sing—purify the water within yourself. Speed your vibration. The more your energy slows down or even stagnates, the more you absorb other people's energy.
- Take responsibility for your inner condition. Take 100% responsibility—it's not the other person's problem, it is for you to take care of how you feel at any moment of the day.
HSP's and Childhood
HSP's Must Have Meaningful Work
HSP's Need Time
Our Brains Work Differently! (Video)
Creating a Satisfying Relationship
Comfortable with a Quiet Life